When She’s Ready for Marriage and You’re Not

So she’s ready for the great ‘I do’. (Or at least she makes it seem like she is!) 🙂

She talks about her friends getting engaged and getting married and how everyone’s taking the big step. She gushes exaggeratedly at the displays on the wedding shop window. She giggles a lot when somebody walks by with a baby and asks you often about whether or not you think she’s going to make you a mother. And worse, she’s already arranged for you to meet her parents.

Yes, she’s ready for marriage. You are not.

What do you do when your ladylove is looking for the great wedding bells and you’re just happy with what you have right now? Here are some tips:

Look inwardly.

Are you truly not ready for marriage? Why not? What makes you hold back on the idea of the married life? Maybe it’s just fear. Maybe you’ve seen something bad about marriage that makes you scared of it. Maybe you just want to exercise and practise interesting ways to get a girl to like you, and after the chase, you get bored and tired. Or maybe it’s just an unwarranted, useless and illogical fear about something that’s been blown out of proportions and made bigger than the whole idea of marriage itself. Give yourself some space, away from her if need be, and evaluate your thoughts and feelings over marriage.

Look at your relationship.

If you’ve been together for more than 5 years and you have never talked about marriage even once during that whole time, then she really has a reason to start hinting on you. Has your relationship been good over that whole period of time? Can you imagine yourself being with the same woman for the rest of your life?  However, if your relationship has not been longer than 1 month and she’s already talking about wedding and your mini-me’s, you seriously have to pack your bags and leave. Like, NOW.

Look at your girlfriend.

Sometimes, even the best of marriage-material of men could not think about marriage only because they are not with a woman who can make them want to settle down. But then again, whether or not she is the woman that you can imagine spending the rest of your life with or not, she deserves to know that. You can’t just keep her guessing and waiting forever because the right man might come along for her and you’re blocking the way. Make her fall in love with you even more by clearing your head and know what you want.

Make a checklist of the benefits and disadvantages of marriage.

This is so elementary and yet this is so effective. Write as many as you can think of – even the ones that you don’t believe in but have been true about other couples. Weigh in on them. Decide whether or not the advantages can outweigh the bad sides of marriage.
Seek advice from someone who’s in a good marriage and from someone who’s had it bad. It’s practically just the same as making a checklist, but with more depth and personal experience to it. Learn from these people’s insights on marriage.

Don’t let pressure from your girlfriend or other people’s opinions about you, marriage, or your relationship push you into doing something that you’re not ready for. You can’t get into marriage half baked.